just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
