It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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