oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
