Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
