its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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