Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
