So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
