It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
