okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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