omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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