I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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