In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
