did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
