I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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