If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
