That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
