dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
