I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
"it" just moved
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
