Kiss
Puke
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize