My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
