it hurts more in the daytime
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
