i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
