I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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