What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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