They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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