considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
