she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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