Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
