Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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