and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
