Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
