Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
