Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
