Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i've created a new STD.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
