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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
