fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
