they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
