Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
