this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
This is classic penis vs brain.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
