Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you would pick up someone in the library
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
