This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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