last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
