Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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