My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
