mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
