Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
