you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
