He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
