I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
