I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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