Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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