It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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